GUILT…

Overtime, I’ve noticed that personal guilt is louder than preconceived notions or flat out assumptions. Have you ever considered why it is even a journey to accept and consider yourself to begin with? Let’s start with the golden rule. We are taught at an early age to “treat others how we want to be treated.” So right away we are mentally training ourselves to treat people based on personal desires instead of what is. I believe this mental processing causes majority to subconsciously overlook the treatment received—resulting in giving more than actually receiving, and feeling guilty when treated properly.

Personally, I think the rule should read: treat others how you treat yourself!!

Self-guilt is probably one of the hardest things I’ve endured. I remember when I was at home all of the time, I felt like I was slacking at work. When I was devoting myself to my career, it felt like my friendships were stagnant and my home was chaotic as hell. Listen, at some point or another, guilt was experienced. & don’t get me started on parental guilt (that’s a separate topic on its own for a different post). Oh & don’t get me started on health-guilt, again, a separate topic all on its own!

So, the guilt creates self-doubt, which leads to feeling discouraged. & feeling doubtful and discouraged can definitely lead to depression, even if it’s temporary. So how do we truly overcome the guilt? Honoring that I am only one person and can only achieve and conquer what’s humanly possible, right? I committed to reviewing my task list aloud so others around would consider the load (this worked for colleagues and children mostly). & if/when the load wasn’t considered, I asked for their immediate feedback on where to s q u e e z e their request “considering the load,” lol. Not saying I don’t accept requests, but it helps the other person respect and consider, and that’s the goal! I committed to saying no thank you without explanations. I committed to waking up an hour before my house to have quiet ME time as Gena—not wife or mommy! Just enjoying myself by stretching, meditating, massaging the achy bones, cleansing and properly moisturizing without being interrupted. Anything I want to do before the house is up, I do and enjoy! I committed to taking and ENJOYING PTO. Working 9 to 5 very much gives being institutionalized! & it takes up majority of the day, leaving us mentally and physically exhausted and in aggravated energy to carry home if we aren’t careful. Honestly, I’ve committed to a lot during my journey of life. My mom taught my sisters and I to speak the truth and do what makes us happy. (I’ll tell you later how that backfired on her (a time or ten by raising me, lol). But, societal acceptances have never been my thing! I’ve enjoyed creating my life and living it to ensure I’m happy—guilt free!

I’m saying all of this to say, the guilt ends now by considering and prioritizing yourself before anyone else attempts to treat you how they assume you should be treated. No one can treat you better than you treat yourself. You are the blueprint to the treatment and respect you receive. Once someone sees you slacking on yourself (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, or physically) they will believe they can issue the same behavior. It’s time out for self-guilt and it’s all the time in the world to #StandOnSelf.

Subscribe and tell me how you plan to become guilt free or how long you’ve been guilt free!

Much love,

G.